Each spring as the school year comes to an end I get many questions about where parents should send their kids to school next year. Which schools are going to be safest? Which school has the least drugs? Which school will allow my child get into a good college? Is private safer than public? Is a religious school safer than an independent school? If I pay more money will my child be safer or do the rich kids have more drugs? And what about a single sex school or a boarding school? And each year I get this statement, “I hear that (fill in the blank) school has a big drug problem.”
Here’s my answer: Every school will have some drug issues at one time or another. Most schools will not have a big drug problem on campus, but some kids will find a way to sneak drugs into a pocket, purse, backpack, or locker. Most drug rumors that we hear about are false!
I can only tell you what we have experienced. There are some schools that have more drug offenses and issues than others. The larger the school, the higher the odds that there will be a drug offense.
The more demanding schools usually have more students with goals. A goal oriented school attracts a student who is less likely to be a big partier. However, at many high achieving schools we see the “blow out party model.” The kids are so exhausted and have so many demands placed on them that they will hit the weekend and explode. And yes, we do see kids abusing study drugs at these schools, especially in demanding colleges.
A party in a gated community often has drugs and alcohol because there is a mistaken belief that police won’t bother them. The place to find the drugs is the house where the parents provide it for the kids (and yes, that includes alcohol – more to come on this subject in future Blogs.) This is why you need to know exactly where your kids are going, who they hang out with, and what kind of parental oversight is present.
A private school will have less tolerance for drugs and alcohol use because they make their own rules and if you don’t adhere to them you get expelled. A public school has to take all students and so you are stuck with who your child’s classmates. Who they choose to hang out with is as important as which school they go to. And yes, we have seen just as many drugs at single sex schools and boarding schools as any other.
If they go to a private school, they most likely have some level of drug education and/or life skills training. If they go to a tiny private religious school, they often will not have any drug education. If they go to a public school, you may think they’ll have drug education classes, but what they’ll most likely get is a single day presentation from an organization that comes in during red ribbon week. During that week they may make posters and take a pledge not to do drugs, but that isn’t a comprehensive drug ed program. Assemblies rarely discuss the different drugs; they simply refer to “drugs” in a general sense. Often I will talk to parents who tell me that their school has a great program, but when I review it and talk to the kids, they’ve had nothing like what the parent described.
So, which school is the safest to send your child to? You must know your own child. Is your child a leader or a follower? Is your child goal oriented or do they float along with what they are told just to get by? Does your child have an opinion about this subject? Does your child desire to fit in or do they have a mind of their own? Is your child living their own dream or yours? What are their strengths and weaknesses? Is your child a whole child or an academic child? A whole child develops their entire brain, not just the left side of their brain.
It all comes down to how you prepare them and how much you talk to them about life skills. Is addiction part of their genetic history? Is use a part of their current environment? What behavior are you role modeling for them? How do you prepare them for daily choices? Who is your child and what are their dreams? What is their intention?
The discussion begins in kindergarten and continues until high school. It doesn’t begin the summer before high school begins. It continues and continues and continues until college. That is how to pick the right school.
